Escape!!!

So if anyone's got a spare couple of tickets to somewhere far, far away that they'd be willing to donate to me and Sky, nows the time to hand them over!

Meh! I'm ok really. Just need to try and focus on the work stuff. (Not the day job - the real work!) Got a big zombie film to get done. Got a fantastic cast and crew. Working with some of my best mates - it's awesome! But who'd have thought that you gotta warm up before fighting (or rather, running away from!) armies of the undead! Have so far managed to injure my shoulder and pick up some random scratches and bruises as well as have every muscle in my body seize up on me this morning. Add to that a bitch of a cold and you had one very sick Mandy this morning!

Anyways - physically much better now. Looking forward to getting back to the day job tomorrow morning and back to the film at night. Either Gary and Jac getting it on again or me and Ryan getting our character's first kiss. Either way it's gonna be an interesting night!

Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breathe.....

So one minute everything's great and then shit and then great and then shit and it goes on and on and on and on. Every time you hit the 'shit' bit it's a million times worse than the last time and the great bits just stay equally great.
My head is full to bursting of things I've to do, choices I've to make, issues to resolve, plans to make, etc, etc,etc.
All I want to do is stick my head under my duvet and scream. Or run away and hide.

Anyone got a spare padded cell I could bounce about it for a few years?

Meh!

Ever have the kind of situation where you want to write it all down or blurt it all out to someone but you're too scared to in case someone has you sectioned under the mental health act? Well that's how I'm feeling today!

Don't think I did anything on Friday. Was miserable following a horrible day at work so just had an early night. Saturday I headed through to Edinburgh with my fellow cast member and very good friend Ryan to see a vampire film. Which was screened in a greveyard! Awesome! We then headed back to glasgow and I introduced him to Maggie Mays and Jaegermeister (I don't think he's forgiven me yet!) Good night though - one of those nights where you talk absolute nonsense for so long that you tend to forget about normal things like, y'know, going home! lol!! Finally got home about 7.30am. Then was up at 12.30 to start getting organised for my PJ party with all my Bad Pony friends :D That was awesome! Good movies, great chat and amazing fun getting to catch up with everyone. Felt like I hadn't seen them in ages!!

Unfortunately Monday morning reminded me that I'm no teenager any more :( Wouldn't change either of the nights, they were both amazing, but I'd maybe change working on the Monday morning!

Then today I had to take Sky through to the hospital to get her medication in injection form. Not fun. Screamed the place down. :( She was fine in minutes mind you but the thought of having to do it myself is totally killing me :(

So yeah - mood for the moment is a resounding MEH! Thinking of chucking on a weepy movie tonight and just crying myself stupid for a bit. That usually helps. Doubt Derek will be too impressed as he's meant to be coming over tonight but tough! :P

As for all the stuff I want to say but can't........................maybe another day xxxx

More steps back...

Ok, as those of you who know me will already know, I'm trying to become a paid actor. Not the easiest profession to get into but I figure if I don't at least give it my best shot I'll always regret it.

Obviously one hurdle is the fact that, like other actors, I'm stuck in a day job. Prior to today that job had been fairly supportive and flexible knowing that my dreams may require random time off at short notice. But I was always happy to work the time back and am always willing to come and go with them where needed. Now, not only has my request to reduce my hours to 4 days a week (to give a free day for auditions and such like) but the holidays are no longer being decided within the team so the flexibility I previously had is no longer available.
Yip - that noise is my dreams coming crashing down around my ears. :(

Yesterday and today has pretty much knocked the life right out of me and now I'm just exhausted. :( Want to sleep all weekend. :( 

Two steps forward, three steps back......

I really should have been expecting this.

To let you in on the general pattern of my life - as soon as all the things that had been going horrifically wrong start to get better, something that had been ok goes tits-up.

So this time - my relationship starts to get better, the film prep is going well, work have banned those blasted air horns. Life is good. Then the hospital call to discuss the wee yin's medication. Since she refuses to take the tablets she has to go on to injections. Injections that I'll have to administer.

Now I know that it's not as bad as it could be. It's only once a week and it's best for her in the long run and she needs it yadda yadda yadda....
That doesn't make me feel any better about having to stick my needle-phobic 6 year old with a needle once a week. :(

Not much I can do about it though. Just gotta get on with it. Roll on some good news. :(

Date Night

Got taken out on a date by the guy I've been seeing for over a year and a half. Yeah I know this may seem strange but we've never really done the date thing. (It's mainly my fault - I get stupidly nervous)
So we went for sushi - which was lovely - and then went to see Inception. What an awesome film! It's one of those films that as a film-maker you sit in the cinema thinking "Bastard! Wish I'd thought of that!" Mind you, on my budget of 46p and a packet of Haribo I doubt I could have made it look that good :D

All in all it was a good, if slightly strange evening. Some of my usual paranoias surfacing, Derek throwing a curveball (not literally before you ask!) a few weird situations. I dunno - the day my life becomes normal I'll probably pass out from the shock!

Got some general paperwork sorted for the film.

Finally got the air horns in work stopped. Feel like such a killjoy but they were turning me into a nervous wreck :( Still desperate to get out of there though. Creatively speaking it's like getting crushed. I just lose the will to live in there. But I've just got to keep telling myself that it's not forever. I just wanna act!!!!!!!

Anyway - offski for now.

See y'all soon! xxx

Zombieeees!!!

Not long home from what I thought was a very successful chat with who will be taking the lead role in Homedy and Corror's first feature film :)

I've chatted to Ryan a fair bit online but I think this is the first time we've had the chance to just sit down and chat in person and he is lovely!!! So glad we got him for the role of Dave. There are a few fairly intimate scenes between my character and Dave so it was important to me that I got someone I could be comfortable with and Ryan is just perfect! A self confessed practical joker, I think he's going to fit in perfectly with the Homedy and Corror team. :D Hope to work with him on the sequel to Vengeance Ltd as well :D

All in all a good night. Next plan is to get him out for a drink but he says he's a lightweight so between him and Joe it'll be a cheap night ;)

Love ya xxxxx

I have a blog?!?!?

I've had this suggested to me a few times but considering what goes on in my head I always thought it would be a really baaaaad idea. So what's changed my mind? Well.....nothing to be honest. I still think it's a really bad idea but we'll see how it goes. If I can get through a few blogs without folk chasing me down the street with torches and pitchforks we'll consider it a success. :)

So what am I doing? Well, as part of Homedy and Corror Productions I'm putting together a zombie film, a sci fi series and have just finished the sequel to a torture short I did a while back.
I'm also trying to become a full time actress so that I can get out of my soul destroying day job.
I'm trying to balance that with a fairly volatile personal life. I have a beautiful daughter who had been acting up a fair bit but we've intoduced some new discipline/rewards and it seems to be working well. I also have a gorgeous boyfriend, Derek, who is also an actor and that unfortunately is creating some friction but we're getting there.

Also on the personal side - I'm freaking out about turning 30 this year. Desperate to get married and settle down (despite the fact that I f*cked it up the first time) wanna have another baby at some point in the next couple of years and want it all with someone who doesn't do commitment. lol!! I never do things the easy way!

I think that's enough for one post :D Let's see how long this lasts!

Mandy xxxx